So my day wasn't so great, but I will still rejoice!

I hate hurting.  It is a huge pain in my butt!  Or should I say my back.....

Have I blogged about pain yet?  I think I have.  I'm sure I have.  Well, it doesn't matter.  Right now I am in pain.  I need someone to come over and bring my inversion table out of the bedroom and bring it back into the living room.  Maybe if I start hanging upside down again it will help me feel better.  It can't make me feel worse, that's for sure!  Oh Lord, heal my back, PLEASE!!!

We had a frightening event last night.  Jack and I were watching the baseball game and the Diamondbacks were losing (now there's a shock!).  I got up to get myself some apple pie and ice cream.  Jack and I were talking from the kitchen to the living room and all seemed fine.  I came back and sat down to watch the game.  The ump made a call I didn't like and I said something to Jack about it.  Out of the corner of my eye I saw his hand flailing and I heard him make what I thought was a sound of disgust.  In my mind, I thought he was raising his fist to the ump.  But then I realized his arm was still waiving so I turned to look at him.

He was having what looked like a seizure.  Both arms were jerking and his hands were punching himself in the face.  His head was turned sideways and his eyes were wide open.  His legs were also jerking.  He was able to talk though so he didn't pass out.  He didn't want me to call 911 but he couldn't stop jerking.  So I called them. 

I was so freaked out though that I forgot to hit the talk button and was getting frustrated that the phone wouldn't ring.  Finally I realized what I had done and I hit the button and the phone began to ring.  I told the operator what was going on and she dispatched paramedics to my house.  She told me not to hold him down but he was punching himself in the face pretty badly.  He had a few scratches but then he cut the corner of his eye and I was worried he'd really hurt himself.  So I asked her if I could just hold his hands to protect his face.  She told me it would be OK to do that.

I don't know how long it took the paramedics to get there.  It felt like an eternity.  Jack continued to convulse and finally quit just as they came walking through the door.  It could have been only 90 seconds but I think it was more like three minutes.  To say I was scared is an understatement!  I have only felt fear like that once before and that was when  I was in that police car with my daughter on our way to the hospital when Christy drowned.  I had no idea what was wrong with him and I was afraid.

The first thing the paramedics did was test his blood sugar.  It was 40 so they told me to get him some orange juice and put a teaspoon of sugar in it.  Being shook up like I was, I wasn't thinking clearly and did what he asked.  I totally forgot that orange juice is on Jack's list of forbidden fruits because he has renal failure and is on dialysis.  But Jack realized it after the first sip.  So they had him drink cranberry juice with sugar.  They tested his blood again and it was 33.  They made him swallow glucose from a tube.  He thinks they gave him three tubes of it.  I only saw one tube, but I was busy talking to another paramedic so I'm not sure.

They took him to the ER and I followed behind.  The good thing about going to the ER by ambulance is they get you right in.  The waiting room was packed but we didn't have to wait out there.

They checked his blood sugar and it was now 272!!  However, the doctor said she'd rather it be high instead of low.  He could die from it being too low.  He is always afraid of it being high because it can damage the kidneys.  Well the doctor told him that isn't an issue anymore, now that he has renal failure.  So he will raise his basal rate on his insulin pump.  His new target number is 150 instead of 100. 

He's fine now.  Tired from spending the night in the ER but otherwise, fine.  Me....I'm not so sure.  It seems like every day I wonder what tomorrow will bring with him.  There is so much wrong with him and it is all due to his diabetes.  He's had juvenile diabetes since he was 17 years old.  Forty-two years is a long time to suffer.

Jack is on a national kidney transplant list.  He's been on it for two years.  We go back to the Mayo Clinic this month for his yearly physical.  Jack has decided to change his status from kidney transplant to a pancreas/kidney transplant.  After 42 years of being diabetic and testing his blood all day and night, he'd like a break.  I can't say I blame him.

I hate pain.  I hate diabetes.  I hate kidney failure.  I am ready for God's healing touch on my husband and myself.  Without a doubt, I know God can do it.  For reasons only He knows, it hasn't happened.  But I won't lose faith. 

Hebrews 11:1 (NLT)
Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.

Psalm 118:24 (NIV)
This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Be blessed,

Sue