We interrupt the regularly scheduled program to deliver a special message.
Dear Back pain:
Please accept this letter as formal notice that you are being evicted from my property (body). For three years you have caused me nothing but but agonizing pain. You have rudely interrupted me during meal time and family time. You have caused me countless nights of sleeplessness. You have prevented me from enjoying life as I used to before you so rudely moved in.
These past three years have been nothing but pain, depression and misery. I didn't invite you into my life and I don't want you to continue being a part of my life. You are worse than an ex husband and you have to go.
I would appreciate immediate action on your part. The sooner you pack up and leave, the happier we all will be. And don't bother coming back, you are not wanted.
Sincerely and seriously,
Me
That is all. You may now resume your regularly scheduled program!
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