God's Grace Is Enough For Me

I hate waking up in pain.  Especially when I'm in the middle of a great dream!  But since I get to sleep in on Saturday I usually wake up from the pain before I'm ready.

Three years ago next month I fell and injured my back.  The xrays and CT scan said I have a bulging disc and a herniated disc  (L4-L5, L5-S1).  I've been through all kinds of treatments and medications during this time.  The one that seemed to help the most was the decompression therapy.  I felt 70% better.  But, it takes up a lot of time.  I had to go four nights a week and each session was almost two hours.  I did this for about four or five months with the amount of times per week decreasing until it was only once a week.  It's been well over a year since I've been there and I probably could use some more therapy.

Unfortunately other parts of me now hurt and I am not sure that I want to put the rest of me through anything that might make me hurt worse.  Over the past year or so my body has really begun to ache.  At first, it wasn't too bad and a couple of Tylenol would help with the pain.  But it has gotten worse.  My legs, my ankles, my feet, my finger, my neck and shoulder, my arms and wrists all ache.  Cold weather and air conditioning only make it hurt worse. 

My doctor sent out for lab work to see if I had rheumatoid arthritis.  The test results came back negative which is good, but just leaves me with more questions.  So he is sending me to a rheumatologist.  I see her in August and hope she will be able to help.  I hope she can do something.  I'd love to have a good night's sleep and be able to wake up without pain!

I think of Paul and often wonder what type of affliction he had.  Whatever it was, he asked the Lord to take it away three times but God, for what ever reason, chose not to.  Paul was learning to not let his circumstances get in the way of his relationship with Jesus and to be satisfied with God's grace. 

Paul knew what pain was.  He'd been beaten, starved, left out in the cold, almost drowned, slept on hard prison floors, etc., yet he continued to serve God and be an example to others in order that they may know Christ.  He taught them what it was like to be a true disciple of Christ and he continues to teach us still to this day.

I want God to heal me.  I want to be able to wake up in the morning without pain.  But if, for whatever reason, God doesn't heal me, then I want to be able to say that I can still face each day because God's grace is enough for me.  I'm not there yet, but I am faithfully waiting on God to get me there.  I am a work in process.  The Master's hand is upon me and He will bring me through this.

2Cor. 12:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

Be blessed,

Sue