Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis

I had a follow-up appointment with my Rheumatologist yesterday.  On my first visit I came late in the afternoon and was having a fairly good day.  My pain level wasn't so bad that day.  At that time she did prescribe lidacaine patches for my back and told me she wanted me to come back in six weeks.  This time my appointment was scheduled for early morning.

I always ache worse in the morning.  When I rise from my bed there are days it hurts just to walk to the bathroom.  I usually take a hot bath first thing in the morning to help get me moving.  However, I didn't have a chance to take one yesterday morning.  So, when I saw the doctor, I was hurting all over.

She did another exam on me, and when she was finished she asked me if I had read the pamphlets she gave me last time on fibromyalgia and osteoarthritis.  I confessed to her that I had not read them because I didn't want to know what the symptoms were.  That is when she told me I really needed to read them, because I definitely have fibromyalgia and osteoarthritis. 

I was stunned.  First, I have not really thought much about fibromyalgia.  In fact, I once called it a "diagnose of convenience!"  In other words, I thought doctors were too quick to diagnosed it because they didn't know what else to call it.  (I know....I know!)

So, today on the way to work, I decided to read those two pamphlets.  It was difficult to read them while driving.  It's hard to drive while darting in and out of traffic, stopping at lights, etc. (KIDDING!!!  I take the bus!) 

Fibromyalgia is a condition associated with widespread chronic pain (me), fatigue (me again), memory problems (what were we talking about), and mood changes (wha chu talkin' bout Willis?).  Well, there you go!  I have all four of those symptoms.  But wait, there is more!  There are 18 points on your body that when pressure is applied, are very tender.  16 of the 18 points on my body hurt, 12 of them a lot and 4 of them are mildly tender.

Osteoarthritis has ten areas that are commonly affected.  I ache in all ten areas.  My fingers on my left hand hurt when holding the steering wheel.  My fingers on my right hand are not near as bad.  I have to wonder if this is from playing the guitar?  My knees really hurt, especially when I'm cold.  My lower back and my neck are always in pain.  In cold or damp weather my hips and ankles hurt.  (I guess I can forget about moving back east...)

The doctor did tell me that there are medicines out there that may help alleviate some of the pain, but not all of the pain.  At this point, I would just like to see the level of pain decreased.  I have a high tolerance to pain, so I can live with some pain.  (However, if God wants to heal me 100%, I would be willing to accept it!)

I did tell the doctor I did not want to be put on any anti-depressants.  I took Cymbalta a few years ago and hated the way it made me feel.  (And getting off of it was sheer hell!)  She prescribed a medicine called gabapetin.  One of the side affects is feeling tired, so she suggested I take it at night.  Last night was my first night on it and I have to say I slept like a rock.  However, I've been dragging all day.  I hope that once my body is used to the medication, it won't feel so tired.  She did tell me it takes about four weeks before I will begin to notice an improvement. 

So, I have a diagnose.  While not thrilled with it, at least now I have an answer and I can move on.  So, moving on...

Hubby and I went out  for dinner last night with a friend of his and his wife.  They are part of a church plant and currently meet in a home.  Because it is small they have a lot more time for ministry, prayer and counseling.  We met with them to discuss some of the  issues in our life that we are dealing with and to see if we could possibly counsel with them.  I was hesitant at first because I had only met the husband a few times and never met his wife.  So we decided rather than a counseling appointment, we'd just go out for dinner together.

What a neat couple!  They had experienced what Jack and I are going through now, many years ago.  They have been walking in victory and now they minister with others who are going through it.  We had a great time of fellowship, prayer and even a bit of counseling.  They gave us some sound, Godly advice but of course, it will be up to us to follow through. The biggest thing I came away with, was the importance of  spending time in God's Word.

Our friend said, "Isn't it amazing how much joy we receive when we read His word, yet it is the one thing Satan can keep us from doing so easily.  You would think, knowing how much He speaks to us this way, and how much it changes our heart, it would be difficult for the devil to keep us away from it.  Yet it is one of the devils greatest tricks...keeping us from spending time in the Bible!"

How true!  And sadly, I am guilty of allowing the devil to trick me into thinking I don't have time to read each day.  And then I wonder why I feel so empty, down, hopeless, etc.  When I read God's Word, I feel so alive.  I have so much joy in my heart and I want to shout His praises from the mountain tops! I have strength to go on and face my trials and I don't feel alone.  The comfort I receive is beyond anything else in this world.  And yet...

And yet, I find myself too tired, too busy, too into my life to make time to read God's promises to me.  And then I wonder why I feel so angry, so sad, so much despair, fear, hopelessness, etc., etc., etc.  HELLO?  Anybody home?  Sigh...

God is so good.  And He is so kind, and gracious and compassionate (and patient)!  He is standing right there and eager to talk to all of His children.  We just have to come to him.

Psalm 145: 8-9 (NIV)
 ⁸ The LORD is gracious and compassionate,
       slow to anger and rich in love.
 ⁹ The LORD is good to all;
       he has compassion on all he has made.

My goal right now, is to get back into the Word on a regular basis.  No more excuses.  I don't want the devil winning this one!

Be blessed,

Sue